Dork in heels | Sexy Elevator Music

09.10.2007 | Comments (49)

Superplug: Teelia, Andy Nguyen, Katy, Rina

Sidenote before I even get into my discussion of sexy elevator music: Thank you for the nice comments and for liking my narcissistic layout of my vector-self on a magazine cover that I will never ever be on. You’ve ballooned up my ego and now maybe I can love myself THAT much more. Just kidding. But seriously, thank you and thanks for the new links! I’ll update my link list this week. And my wedding website is in the works. Learning about the traditions of my culture has been pretty exciting! End sidenote.

Say you live in a tall building that necessitates the utilization of elevators to get you to the main floor. Suppose you want to ride this elevator because you have to get yourself to work and cars can’t park on the 10th floor -sadly-, denying you the convenience of not having to use said elevator. Let’s say, for the sake of realism, that you will most likely run into neighbors in that lobby waiting for the elevators because other people have to park on the main floor as well, bitches.

Now suppose that the building manager likes to put music on rotation in said elevator lobbies to briefly entertain the residents while they wait for the elevators to arrive. Music can help ease the tension of awkward conversation, right? No need to make small talk if you can sing along to Enya or Yani in your head. Genius.

Let’s add some displeasure to this typical situation by playing sexual slow jams to REALLY add to the discomfort of wondering "do I say ‘Good Morning’ or should I pretend to look engulfed in deep thought and ignore my neighbor who I do not know anything about other than I think he’s a chain smoker who loves to watch TV REALLY loudly." Insert background noise, "When I get that feeling, I want sexual healing… sexual heeeeaaaallliiinnngggg, yeah. Sexual healing.".

NOW let’s pretend the property manager is watching you wait from some hidden surveilance video and is laughing to herself because she just saw you fix a bra wedgie while not saying anything to your neighbor as you both listen to sexy bedtime tunes. You can’t help but commend her on the humor since you would probably do the same thing yourself if you were the property manager of some ritzy apartment building in the city.

End hypothetical situation, insert reality. For the past week or two, I have heard every "late night jam" that there ever was waiting for the elevator. Ha ha. I find it relatively amusing and I often wonder what my other neighbors are thinking, i.e. the old couple on my floor who I run into often. What if THEY were standing next to my supposed chain smoking neigher and Boys II Men’s "I’ll Make Love To You" started playing? I think they’re playing some kind of joke on us. It’s usually some Enya-type of song.

I don’t know if management is REALLY watching, but if I was the property manager, I would probably take advantage of my power and play the sex songs LOUDER so that the whole awkward moment before getting onto the elevator thing is even MORE AWKWARD. Actually, scratch that. Remove the sex songs and just add sex NOISES. ;o) No more wondering about if you should say something or not. The situation turns into "how do I tastefully ignore this…?"

Sooooo, how’s the weather?" (Mind you, you both haven’t been outside since it’s 6:30AM and we’re 10 stories up.) "Sounds like the neighbors are REALLY enjoying it eh ;o)

? Those bed springs sound like they’re wearing down. Maybe they should look into a new bed!

In Deep Thought, In the Home @ 1:13 pm | Comments (49)

49 Comments »

Dear Dork-face,

haha funny post. If elevators don’t come with security cams, i would grab my boyfriend and make out with him. lol.

hey, i just added your feed in my live book mark. *giggles*

I’ve never lose a post using wordpress as far as I know. because I always make sure I back up them. Some wordpress users lose their entries because they don’t back up. But wordpress for me is the best invention ever. hahaha.

Take care.

Comment by Laarni — 11.25.2009 @ 5:13 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Oh God, that’s brilliant. XD
… Yet slightly creepy.

I’d love to spy on people in the elevator though. Hehe.

Comment by Lindsay (Despair) — 11.25.2009 @ 5:14 pm

Dear Dork-face,

ey!
yeah it’s true. I heard it from one of mye affies. But I asked my host if it can happen soemthing to me, and she said no. But Im not shure, im a little scared =S Hehe, your smart, that use pictures of yourself !=D

It was fun to read your engagement post =D And I hope you live happy ever after, hehe!

Comment by Helen — 11.25.2009 @ 5:14 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Lol, ever since I got stuck in an elevator I can’t even go in them let alone listen to the music. But still yeah Enya would be lovely to listen to! Lmao I can just imagine something like that being caught on camera. Your layout is just lovely!

Comment by Kaz — 11.25.2009 @ 5:15 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hmmm… that would be super freaky… I never thought of that, but then again I have only heard of music with no lyrics in them… maybe the property manager IS trying to relay something and is dirty!! Hehehehh

Your link is up as well now!

Comment by Teelia — 11.25.2009 @ 5:15 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Lol, I wonder what made him put sex music on, usually its a boring repetitive tune that you hum for the rest of the day.

Comment by Emma — 11.25.2009 @ 5:16 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I’ve never really paid attention to elevator music, since I was too busy jumping to see if I would ‘float’ like in some of the urban myths. I do that every time I get into an elevator, so if all of a sudden, you see a jumping kid in an elevator, it would probably be me.

It would be unnerving to have to listen to sex songs in an elevator when you’re packed in an elevator with stiff looking people who seem to have no sense of humor at all. I’d probably burst out laughing if I heard ‘Sexual Healing’ in an elevator.

Comment by Alex — 11.25.2009 @ 5:16 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Ha, I’d probably do the same as you. Just to see how people would react to it

Comment by Kaisa — 11.25.2009 @ 5:16 pm

Dear Dork-face,

i love your layout thao! and i’m terribly sorry it’s taken me ages to get back to you :/

sexy elevator music? ha, genious

Comment by jacinta — 11.25.2009 @ 5:17 pm

Dear Dork-face,

aha, sexy music in the elevator is so freakin’ akward. If I was property manager I’d hang up sensual nude art pictures all over the hallways… especially if an elderly old couple happen to reside in one of the rooms. haha, take care!
:]

Comment by Emily — 11.25.2009 @ 5:17 pm

Dear Dork-face,

You have a very interesting way of seeing things. But yes, I’d agree with you on that Techno. lol. I can imagine a rave going on in that elevator. I can imagine there being strobe lights and disco balls in an elevator in the next 20 years. lol. Now thats scary to think about. Maybe not in a professional buiding, but you get the jive.

Comment by Brandy — 11.25.2009 @ 5:18 pm

Dear Dork-face,

hey babes congratulations and happy beleted birthday…
i like the concept your palnning to have for your wedding…

Comment by SNOW_LOVE — 11.25.2009 @ 5:18 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Yep the layout is cool…

Sexy elevator music? lol, I’d probably start laughing if I heard like sex sounds or even just sexy music in the elevator.
I would probably abuse that sort of power. Record my own voice, and make people listen to monologues. Or me pretending I have a radio station lol.

Comment by Olivia — 11.25.2009 @ 5:19 pm

Dear Dork-face,

woah I love your layout! I can finally see it =D

Comment by Evelien — 11.25.2009 @ 5:19 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Yeah, I cut my own hair (:

Comment by Benedicte — 11.25.2009 @ 5:19 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Yahh the first week of chool after holidays is always like very activity-based. Lol, yeh I gues sthey’re like camp activities haha. Yep I suppose it is to get everyone comfortable and stuff in the new environment.

Hahaha sexy elevator music? Elevator music always sounds like the crap they put on in cheap supermarkets. Haha. If I was property manager I’d soooo do the same haha, ^_^
I did enjoy that blog, twas rather entertaining. =]

Comment by Fatz — 11.25.2009 @ 5:20 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Property manager me? I’d probably um kill people or something. I don’t know what I would do.
I don’t hate elevators but I won’t take them alone if something goes wrong and it explodes or something I don’t want to die alone.
I’m getting out of topic am I?

Comment by Exene — 11.25.2009 @ 5:20 pm

Dear Dork-face,

WOW. Your one of the RARE people I know who write long blogs but are intresting.

Wedding website? WOW. Cant wait for it. Keep me up-to date..

Elevator music is sometimes really weird. Like once they were playing “merry go round” and i was really annoyed.

I wanna see that movie. Looks like its intresting.

Comment by Yin — 11.25.2009 @ 5:22 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Yeah, thanks. Wow, love the layout!! Especially the image mapping! Hecka cool.
Oh, that’s yourself on the magazine cover? That’s genius, I never would have came up with something like that.
Ah, hate that type of scenario. …Not too familiar with the sex music part. Yeah, that would be awkward. Either those songs are played completely by random (radio station maybe?) or someone picked them out.

Comment by Jennifer — 11.25.2009 @ 5:22 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I’d like to take a ride in your elevator.

That sounded like an inuendo if ever I heard one.

Comment by Ashley — 11.25.2009 @ 5:23 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Ah I love your layout! Do you design for other people? If so let me know sugar!

Comment by Alyssa — 11.25.2009 @ 5:23 pm

Dear Dork-face,

lol, i really enjoyed your post. i’m sorry though, but i really wouldn’t know what i would do… are you saying if i was property manager of anything, or of this building in particular? you don’t want to know if it was any building, i think i’d go crazy making it all weird, because that’s me.

and you could always use the stairs! and it’s a workout!

(PS: love the layout! i missed the post introducing it – i know some sites out there give a lot of crap for non web 2.0 shit, but i like this stuff so much better. it’s so creative )

Comment by connie — 11.25.2009 @ 5:24 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Elevator music is the worst. People tjhink just because the song is song and smoothing it is appropriate musice. they need to listen to the lyrics of some music that they play, seriously.
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Comment by Kelly — 11.25.2009 @ 5:24 pm

Dear Dork-face,

HAHA! Elevator music sucks, but I have never heard it drawn out quite like this, great job! haha!

Comment by Jamie — 11.25.2009 @ 5:25 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Aaargh, freaky elevator music – haha, sounds interesting But ahh, sexual slow jams? That would be exceedingly weird

Comment by Eilidh — 11.25.2009 @ 5:25 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hey Thao!

I’ve changed over my domain, can you please update my name from Teelia >> Destiny and chariskhane.com >> everdestiny.com/blog

Comment by Destiny — 11.25.2009 @ 5:25 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Aha if I had to wait for it, I would just egnore my neighbours and look at my shoes or something lol. But I can get away with that ‘coz Im only 13
*smiles*.

Comment by laura — 11.25.2009 @ 5:26 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Lmao. How ’bout they play it IN the elevator?

But, seriously. Boys II Men?

Comment by April — 11.25.2009 @ 5:26 pm

Dear Dork-face,

LMAO poor people XD Must be fairly entertaining to watch everyone squirm in discomfort though.
Thanks for your comment btw =] Your layout is lovely! Very unique. I think it’s very creative how you put yourself on the cover of the magazine!
-Sylv

Comment by Sylvie — 11.25.2009 @ 5:27 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Thanks for the comment, I’m not worrying so much anymore, cause everyones hits are going down! =)
The layout is seriously awesome.
Oh and your pretty. =D

Comment by Kyah — 11.25.2009 @ 5:27 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I must admit, I would laugh a hell of a lot if I was that manager, it’s amazing how some timings can be so bad. But I suppose there just to make you laugh xxx

Comment by Shelbie — 11.25.2009 @ 5:27 pm

Dear Dork-face,

nahhh.. their parents don’t care at all…

dude .. lol i love your blog! lovely layout by the way. Lol i live in a house so it’s not often that i use elevators.. but i never knew they played SEXY music in the elevator.. it could make some people do some naughty things that they should be doing in there.. lol! haha

Comment by Lily — 11.25.2009 @ 5:28 pm

Dear Dork-face,

lol@the elevator music. wow.

your layout is really nice!

Comment by Jhaye — 11.25.2009 @ 5:28 pm

Dear Dork-face,

this is why it’s good to listen to your mp3 player while on an elevator.. no need to hear the elevator songs.
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Comment by vanessa — 11.25.2009 @ 5:29 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hrmmm this elevator thing is extreamly awkward. LMAO, but it sounds very interesting.

Comment by Keisha — 11.25.2009 @ 5:29 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hahaha, that’s quite funny. I don’t usually mind elevator music. But, if it was like it was in your situation, I think it would be quite awkward, haha =/ ‘Sex noises’, how weird would THAT be? Also, I’ve never seen any cameras in elevators before =S Do managers actually do that?

Comment by Catherine — 11.25.2009 @ 5:29 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I LOVE this layout! hehe.
Ahh elevators are awesome. Even if I have to get on and off one on a daily basis…I still get a kick out of singing random songs and making fishy faces at the camera. I’m such a five year old. hehe

Comment by Jenny — 11.25.2009 @ 5:30 pm

Dear Dork-face,

hahaha…sometimes I think of some crazy thought when I’m on elevator with a guy…funny ones eh..hehehe music will surely make the difference…hahaha..

hmmm…it’d be funny to have a camera caché on an elevator.

Comment by Wrhoana — 11.25.2009 @ 5:30 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hahaa, hilarious post
I vote for just the sex noises, hehe.
Imagine if someone got like horny just waiting for the elevator and listening to it, lmfaooo.
Uh. ohkay xD

Comment by Stephanie — 11.25.2009 @ 5:31 pm

Dear Dork-face,

haha. ) All songs got meaning, damn, music these days.

Comment by Frutee — 11.25.2009 @ 5:31 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Haha sounds like the building manager is really enjoying herself. But it must seem a bit awkward haha

Comment by Alexandra — 11.25.2009 @ 5:31 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I wonder if the manager has seen anyone have sex inside the elevator! Hahaha!

Comment by Dre — 11.25.2009 @ 5:32 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Hmm, makes you wonder how on earth some people get jobs to be in charge of a whole bunch of people’s living situations, huh?

I’d probably do exactly the same thing, though.
Heck, why stop there?
Let’s install some stripper’s poles in the back of the lift, just to break the ice?
It’d sorta be like “D’you speak to your neighbours?”
“No, but the old lady down the hall gave me a lapdance this morning…”

Now THAT’S classy.

Comment by Frankii — 11.25.2009 @ 5:32 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I love your layout. (:

Ehhh. I hate elevator music. /: I usually open my phone or my iPod, and listen to whatever comes on. (x

Comment by Emily — 11.25.2009 @ 5:32 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Just thought I would leave you a comment just to let you know how much I have enjoyed looking around your site. You have great content and your graphics are great as well!

Jenn

Comment by Jenn — 11.25.2009 @ 5:33 pm

Dear Dork-face,

I hate elevator music.
enough said.

Comment by Leyla — 11.25.2009 @ 5:33 pm

Dear Dork-face,

If I were property I would do the same thing you would do. Loud sex noises and fake prostitutes, lol.

Comment by Hannah — 11.25.2009 @ 5:33 pm

Dear Dork-face,

HAHA!!! I seriously haven’t laughed so hard at a blog ever. This is funny as hell. Your apartment manager is funny as hell, whether she does it on purpose or not.. that’s funny as hell.
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Comment by Angela — 11.25.2009 @ 5:34 pm

Dear Dork-face,

Do people watch you wait for elevators? Do they watch you while you are ON the elevator? That would really suck. It may not be so bad in a mall or something, but at your home where the person watching you knows you? That would be horrible!

Comment by Deanna — 11.25.2009 @ 5:34 pm

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